April Showers Bring May Showers.

It's been cold here.  I know it's Colorado, and I understand how much everyone around here loves to say "Don't like the weather?  Wait five minutes!" but I've waited and all I've gotten is tricked.  Remember when I was tricked into buying a flowering plant earlier?  Because I thought it was sunny forever after, and then it snowed the next day.  Since then it's mostly only been cold, with a few days of beautiful, sunny glory mixed in there just to remind you of what you really want-but what you can't have. 

Here is one example of how cold it was the day before Easter:

(Sorry I cut you out, Dad.  You were clearly trying to be in that one.  I think I did you a favor though...)  This was taken at poor Lilly's soccer game.  When I arrived and tried to figure out which game was ours my mom's polka dots were like a beacon.  I'd come to the right place.  But then I looked around and it felt very wrong.  Surely that chubster stuffed into the unibomber getup wasn't my handsome nephew?  And my mom certainly hadn't stolen her granddaughter's track jacket to use to warm her hands and refused to give it back?  It was.  She had. 


BUT I will say- It Was Cold.  Later my parents (who, despite having lived ~45 years of their lives in New England, can't even handle the colder days in Phoenix without the heat) watched the game from here:

So anyway, it inspired me to make a soup from scratch one day (#89-complete) but I think I'll still try some other soups too.  But here's hoping the weather won't inspire any more soups for at least a few months!


I also got to cross off #70- Print New York pictures and find a good way to hang them.  I found some silver binder clips at Target that I liked, so I slid the little clips on the nails and the pictures hung free to move around a little.  I liked it enough, for now.  BUT THEN the cold/wind got to them.  I left my window open (because I had previously been tricked into thinking it was going to be a nice day) and when I got home they had all done this:

Curled all the edges!  So that goal will have to be revisited.  But at least now I know one way that won't work?  And they're printed- so half complete. 


Now for a sad story and a happy story.  In that order.  (Aside: when asked, who ever chooses the good news first so that they end on a bad note?  That seems like a poor choice to me.)  Okay.  My flowering plant died.  I really didn't see it coming, I thought I loved it enough that nothing could kill it.  It turns out the cold can kill it.  Well that's my theory.  Because if I left it outside to get some sun, it would also freeze.  If it kept it inside to keep it warm, it never got the "full sun" that it called for.  Also what happens to a flower plant after everything that's going to bloom does?  It's an annual, which Nicole told me meant it would come back next year (well if I had planted it in the ground that is) but I thought that meant it would last for at least the summer!  I was wrong.  Nicole please don't look.  Here it is now:

Rest in Peace.  So I'll have to start over with another flowering plant to keep alive for a little longer.  But I'm not going to get my heart set on one until I'm sure this weather turns around.  I did save Cliff's chopsticks and twist ties for the next one though.  No need for neighborly love to go to waste. 

BUT!

Buddy is doing exceptionally well.  That tiny little bud that was coming out of the side of him has turned into THIS:

See that arm?  It's actually gotten even longer than that.  And I have no idea what to do with it?  But it seems to be a sign of health!  Some of the bottom ones are falling off dead, and when I took one of them off I found THIS:

 And then THIS:

So it's not all bad.  At least in Colorado freezing cold doesn't mean there's no sun at all.  And the upside is that in 1 day I leave for this:

(I'm sure that one thunderstorm will be really charming)

COME ON SUMMER!

Oops, it's been a while.

I've been really yelling at people about blogging more often because I really like reading them.  Oopst.  (Good job keeping me interested, Nicole.  You are a very good blogger!)  Also I wrote this a week ago and just forgot to put it up. 

So there are a few things that have been going on.  I'm not dropping the ball on goals, I promise.  Oh!  Here's a new song that is amazing called "Drop the Ball" (I seriously didn't intentionally do that.  In case you can't tell my writing is stream of consciousness...)  You may notice some Beib in there?  You're welcome. 

(I think that link doesn't work?  Sorry.  Look it up)

My friend Stephanie at work has a family tradition where, at Easter, her family will create a "Job Egg" for anyone who is looking for a job and they have to go find it.  Then it is assured that they'll get a job.  Sounds pretty foolproof, yes?  This year she made me a job egg.  Here it is in all it's splendor:

It says ABC and 123 so that I will specifically get a Kindergarten teaching job.  She even hid it in the office so I had to work for it.  After a small hint from an unsuspecting intern I found it in a crystal bowl in the office library.    So here I am world, let's live up to the promise!  In all seriousness, though, I had a good, if not revealingly depressing, talk with my parents last weekend about looking for a job.  I think sometimes I don't hear what my dad is saying until after our conversations because at the time I'm too busy arguing.  But when I was driving home after our talk I realized he was right about a few things:

-People my age (read Me, he said people my age to be nice) act a little bit entitled to jobs these days.  We tend not to understand that sometimes getting a good job will take a lot of effort. 

-I am selling myself short when I keep hedging my bets to other people when they ask how the job hunt is coming.  It starts to get a little sad to say over and over that I still don't have a teaching job.  And sometimes I feel insecure and think that people assume that I'm just not good enough for a job.  So I go on and on about how hard it is to get a teaching job right now and about how I probably won't (I think so that if I don't I can act like I'm not disappointed).  I need to let people know that I want a job, that I would love their help, and that while it will be hard, I'm willing to make the effort.  And if I don't get one I think it will be alright that I'm disappointed.

More inspiration for a better attitude came from:

My small group:  upon hearing the story of my post-college life they pointed out that, while it didn't seem like awesome timing that I wanted to start teaching at the very time that the economy was in the tank and schools were cutting teachers like crazy, having to work hard for a job would help me realize that A. it would be God's provision when i got one, and B. I would appreciate it more knowing what it's like to work at a job for which I'm not well suited. 

My friend Fin:  who's advice was that I could "choose to be hopeful" which I like, and hadn't really thought about before.  Also anytime I claim that God hasn't shown up for me he asks me what it would look like in my life if he did.  Obviously it would look almost exactly like my life looks now just with the addition of something I swear I need (that he has provided in a different way).

A friend of a friend named Carly:  who is currently teaching in Texas, but is dying to move to Colorado and when I told her about my job and that I was leaving, she sent me her resume and told the hiring manager here that she would fly out for an interview and is willing to miss a free trip to Italy and Spain this summer to be able to start work here.  It was a good reminder that though I complain about my job, I'm really fortunate that I have it.  And I shouldn't act like this isn't what it looks like for God to provide for me.  This is exactly what provision looks like- it's just not what I expected. 

 My friend Ashley's facebook status:  A person who isn't happy with what he has won't be happy with what he wants.  (She said herm.  Potato potato)

So thanks to all for the encouragement and for the swift kicks in the rear. 

On a happier note I just received this pan in the mail! (at work clearly)

It's my first cast iron pan!  I needed it for a recipe I wanted to make this summer, AND i ended up getting it for about $7 (I'm quite proud of myself- I searched online for a coupon code for 15% off and then I used some giftcards I had received in a promotional bag that I got for volunteering at an event in New York)  Sounds like I have some work to do (seasoning?) before I can use this puppy!  My cousin Eric who is an incredible profesh chef told me that I needed one, though, and if it gets me anywhere near making food that tastes like his, I'm in.  One of his recipes is on the list (#90 Make Eric's Mussels recipe) so maybe this will be ready in time!  If you have any recipes that you like that utilizes a cast iron pan please send them my way-I'm a newb. 

I am having some people over for brunch this weekend (to make eggs benedict and knock hollandaise sauce off the list- #1 Make something using each of the French mother sauces) so maybe I'll make something in my new pan to add to brunch?  If I can figure out seasoning it by then...

Lilly is 5!

So this will get by as being about my goals on a loophole.  Goal #18- Take Lilly for a special outing.  I haven't done that yet, but I plan to. So on this special day I just want to talk a little bit about what makes the Lilster so cool.  For example, one time when Lil was really little and I was giving her a bath I got her diaper off and she started running away totally naked.  She got about 3 little strides then turned around and coyly laughed at her own joke.  Then she came back over tucked her little head on my shoulder and let me put her in the tub.  I knew right then and there that I had never loved anyone as much as I love Lilly*.  I love that she thinks she's the funniest person she knows.  I love that she has a sweet little encouraging heart under all that sass.  And I love that it's never occurred to her to stifle that strong little personality. And today is Lilly Grace Tolerico's 5th birthday!

*(It should be noted that I now have 3 other little loves of my life, Lauren, Cooper, and Chelsea; but today is not their birthday)

A few of my favorite pictures of the Pink Tyrant...

 Looking at New York city from the ferry.  She called it New Yowak Cithy, and she loved it there.  I told you she was cool.

 Not one to mind when the camera or the attention of everyone in the room is on her.  

She's adorable.  And apparently wears a lot of pink (it is one of her 5 favorite colors- she may not yet be super clear about what favorite means).

And since favorite isn't limited to one, here are a few of my favorite things about her:

She thinks that her mom and dad know everything, and that she has a lot to teach the rest of us.  So one time when I was holding her brother (very carefully I might add) she told me "Tor, you have to be careful with babies.  You can't squeeze so hard like that."  And one time she was hiking with my dad and he said he wanted to pray with her.  So he started, "Dear Lord, " and Lil said, "Dodo, stop!  I'm not the Lord."

There is not a time when I more proud of anyone than when Lil screams Taylor Swift in the back seat of my car into her sparkly microphone.  She knows every word of every song and sings them as if she, too, believes that the boy across the street should love her and not the "cheerleadow." And as if she has any idea what it's like to be "laughing on a park bench thinking to myself 'hey isn't this eeeeaassyyy!"

She is beautiful, she is freakishly smart, and she is going to be a force for this world to reckon with.  Happy Birthday, Lilly T, I love you like crazy.

Nice to see you, Spring

This is what it looks like out my window today...

And breezy and sunny!  Maybe this seems normal, but it snowed here last week.


So I have been inspired to especially focus on the plants that I'm trying to revive/keep alive.  My friend Ashley's little brother Sean used to tell Ashley that he was giving his plants a little fresh air.  Made extra precious by the fact that at the time he was a senior at the Air Force Academy.  So in Sean's honor I gave my plants a little fresh air yesterday.  This is how happy they looked...

A few thoughts on each of these plants that I love, and really very much hope not to kill.

The one with the beautiful white flowers is my attempt at goal #31- Keep a flowering plant alive through its season.  When my friends Nicole and Brian were here (Nicole is the one who introduced me to the goals list!) a few weeks ago we had to go to Home Depot because they love that place.  And apparently Nicole is not allowed to buy any more plants, but I am.  And I fell in love; right there in the annuals aisle at the HD.  You can tell because I felt sentimental about the moment that the plant became mine in the self check aisle and took this picture:

Didn't it look so young there?  And Nicole and Brian get to be its Godparents.  

And the best part about the story of this plant is this:  I don't know anything about plants BUT.  3 days after I adopted this one, I left it outside to get some sun and apparently it turned windy that day.  Also apparently, I hadn't watered it enough so when I got home it looked really sad and droopy.  But by the time I went back out to bring it inside and lament about how terrible I am at keeping plants alive I noticed this:

Someone had put chop sticks and twist ties in my plant to keep it standing up!  Then I found out it was my neighbor Cliff, who I loved already, but who has now cemented himself as tied for best neighbor of my life.  He told me the next day, "now I don't know much about plants, but I know when one's dying.  And I knew we only had one shot at this."  (Thanks for the "we", Cliff)  So now this little lady is alive and kicking and even has some beatuiful new buds.  I really can't get over how beautiful they are.

These two I got at Ikea, one in New York and one in Arizona with my mom.  The little cactus is a hearty one, doesn't complain much even when I gave him no soil and no light for a long time and even when, one time, I left him in Seattle for 4 months. His single act of rebellion is refusing to grow anything but sideways.  But that's alright-gives him character.  The bulbous one is really cute and grows pretty easily and even has those little new sprouts, which are encouraging to me.

And the last one is a heartwrenching (to some) story of redemption...

When I lived in New York I worked in the SoHo neighborhood where there is a beautifully crafted store called Dean & Deluca.  In between client appointments I used to go there for breakfast or lunch and grab a honeycrisp apple and then walk it over to the cheese counter where the expert of the day would pair it for me.  Every counter at Dean & Deluca is its own department and people work specifically in the department in which they are experts.  It's really a treat to get to have someone who is passionate about your lunch help you choose it.  I always tried to spend as much time as I could in that store, so I would walk around and sample the lotions that I could never afford, dream about having a kitchen that contained all the utensils and spices they offered, and imagine that I could cook meals with such ingredients as lavender infused salt or foie gras.  But since I can't, I would stick with spending $9 on the best apple and cheese lunch money could buy.  

When I first went into Dean & Deluca I noticed this plant, though.  At one point the whole thing had upturned petals and was a beautiful rich green.  The first time I saw it it was on a cake platter in the middle of the bakery section.  The next time on top of the seafood counter, and once resting atop a Dean & Deluca mug in the coffee section.  I think someone in charge of decoration had as much love for this little guy as I did.  So when it was time for me to move away from New York and say goodbye to my favorite little grocery store, I decided I was going to buy that cactus to take with me.  Dean & Deluca is no 5 & Dime, so it was going to be a bit of an investment, and, in fact, when I asked a man in the produce department (where it was currently located nestled among the artichokes-clever) how much it cost, he told me $60.  I think he saw the disappointment in my little eyes and then said "wait, no that one is smaller, so it's only $45."  It was not smaller.  It was the biggest one in the store.  I loved that man.  Then he called someone else over and they looked at it and realized that one of the bottom leaves? petals? had a knick in it, so the other guy said "and it's damaged.  So you can have it for $35."  New Yorkers aren't mean unless you stop short in the sidewalk.  They're actually usually heartachingly nice exactly when you don't expect it.  So I walked out of there with my cactus friend.

When I got home I figured he'd want a fancy place to perch, he'd become accustomed to a certain lifestyle, so I found an old raised silver candy dish that my grandmother, Amma, had given me.  It was understatedly adorned, and I thought it was particularly beautiful because Amma loved candy with all her heart.  So this was to be Buddy's new home (I named him Buddy because I was so enamored with him that when I would walk into my apartment I was so excited to see him that I would say "Hey Buddy!")  THEN.  I left New York and moved to Denver.  I carried him on the plane in a little Bergdorf Goodman bag, just his style, and took him with me to Seattle where I was going to pick up my car.  When I was leaving Seattle I couldn't find him.  I was forced to leave without him.  My friend Kaela took care of him for 4 months! until I got back to Seattle, and she put him in a nice sunny spot, perched on his candy dish, but he still looked really sad.  That's when all of his leaves? turned themselves down and lost their joie de vivre, and also their color.  

So I have set out to bring him back to life.  Goal #62- Bring Buddy back to life.  So far, so good, he has some color back and he's turning himself upwards.  The most exciting thing is that little cluster of whole new cactus that's coming out from the side.  I'm excited to see what that grows into. 

On a funny side note, I started this post yesterday, when my window did look like that.  Now, because I live in the most ridiculous state in the union, my window looks like this:

Happy Spring everyone!

Progress

I'm pretty sure I called it that my mom was going to be most devoted/only? reader.  She just asked me how my list was coming along.  So here's an update, Mom. 

While I have only been able to add two goals to my Finished! list, I have been making lots of progress on the long term goals on my list.  So far I have really enjoyed it and would highly recommend the process.  A few of the things I've been working on:

-This morning I read about 20 Robert Frost poems- I meant to read one but I sort of couldn't stop.  He's a genius.  I'm not a person who loves poetry, but him, I love.  (#8 Read every Robert Frost poem)

- You may not believe that I don't love poetry since I have another goal about it, but I looked up the poem I want to memorize the other night and now I almost have it, just because I wanted to read it over and over.  And it makes it easier that it rhymes-all my favorite poems do, I'm like a 5 year old (#57 Memorize a poem).  I've been using a printout of it as a bookmark in the book I'm reading right now.  And because it's always handy (and so good!) I keep making everyone at work read it over and over.  At first they were polite, but now they have started telling me no. 

-I've been taking lots of pictures of progress on longterm goals (#24 Take a picture of every goal achieved)

-I have applied for a few teaching jobs! (#39 Get a teaching job)  Even submitting an application has seemed incredibly exciting to me, so it feels like progress, but it's a little bit out of my hands. 

-I got a list of some of my family members favorite books (#9-14 Read the favorite book of each person in my immediate family), still missing a few, but I've put them on reserve at the library so they'll be ready when I'm done reading this book...

It is about a homeless man and a wealthy art dealer who forge a friendship.  It's right up my alley (one time my mom had to act out "right up my alley" in charades- it was a massive failure that involved a lot of emphatic pointing to herself followed by a lot of frustration when we kept guessing "me".  I actually laugh out loud now anytime that phrase comes to mind).  I got the book from my friend Julie from work.  She said I'll love it, and she spends 40 hours a week with me, so I trust her.  Please also note the poem sticking out the top! 

-I've seen 2 sunrises (#20 See 10 sunrises)

-I now have a prescription for glasses! (#3 Get glasses)  I even tried to pick out some frames but I don't know anything about vision insurance and they laughed me out of the store when I asked if they could just look up my insurance? But still, I have the prescription.

-I have a flickr account now and I'm working on uploading all my pictures to it (#96 Get a flickr account and keep it up to date) that'll be a while.

-And I just bought photo corners and 2 albums (#35 Make an album of old family pictures I have)

So this is a lot of progress for a procrastinator!  Agreed?  Agreed.

#53 Ski in Colorado

I was able to cross off my second goal last week! I know it seems strange to have to say "in Colorado" when that is my current home, but as it turns out, though I've skied since I was a child, and have lived in Colorado for 6 of my years now- I had never done it.

My rationale is that I'm a bit of a sissy when it comes to being scared. It's not a feeling I like, and certainly not one that I seek. (No thank you, rollercoasters.) I'm not easily scared by noises in my house or being outside at night, stuff like that, so I tend to be able to avoid feeling scared for the majority of my life. I promise this relates to my goal. You see, because I have been taking skiing lessons since I was a crying Ski-Wee on the hills of Massachusetts, I know how to ski. I'm no Jeremy Bloom, but I can make my way down the hill. But I don't like feeling out of control and I don't like feeling like I'm getting in people's way, and skiing down double blacks scares me. So I stick to the blues and greens, and I guess I got a little bored with skiing. So in college I decided to learn to snowboard with some friends. Long story short the first attempt was a disaster and the next day was even worse. So a friend of mine who was an instructor and some well qualified roommates did their best to teach me, but I am not a girl who feels comfortable flying down a bunny hill sideways.

Additionally my college roommate Amy's parents are unceasingly generous to me, and in the past few years I've been fortunate enough to spend a few weekends at their house in Utah. The house is at Alta, one of the few remaining skiers only mountains in the world, so unless you want to drive yourself over to the next closest mountain to snowboard, make your own lunch, and in all likelihood return home to find your stuff at the top of the tree and Amy's dad inside grinning-you ski. So I've snowboarded in Colorado, and I've skied in Utah, but I haven't skied in Colorado- until last week.

Some friends from my church in New York were here, in Breckenridge to ski/board on a mountain (the East Coast has what can only be described as hills). So I met them for the day and loved every minute. Well I loved most minutes. I did, at one point spend an hour looking for a place to park. I also love taking pictures from the lift, so I enjoyed the "taking a picture of every goal" portion of this goal. This may stem from a time in college when I was in the darkroom and a very cool stoner from my class kept telling me how much he liked the picture I was working on-a picture of a ski lift. We kept having prints in the developer at the same time and when the chemicals washed across it to reveal the image, every time he was more excited than the last. It was funny because he was yelling and darkrooms tend to have an unspoken no speaking rule. Usually the subjects in my pictures were too fully dressed or not edgy enough for this kind of praise from classmates in the fine art department at CU, so it was especially meaningful. So thanks to that stoner, and an awesome app on my phone called Hipstamatic, I present to you, some pictures of chair lifts...

Two down!

In the beginning.

#71 blog about my goals to keep me on track.
I’ve been reading and talking to a lot of people about strengths lately.  It all started with a book called “Now, Discover Your Strengths” that I was tasked to read for work.  It comes with an assessment that you can take that will tell you what your 5 top strengths are and one of mine was flexibility.  The book talks about all the ways that someone who is strong in flexibility can contribute to a team and can not lose heart even when the components of the project change.  I must say I’m glad that I’m flexible, but I think flexibility comes with a few of its own weaknesses; primarily focus.  In any given hour at work I will have started and moved on from at least 5 projects.  The good news: at least they’re under way.  The bad news: they are rarely finished that same day, if ever.  What I’m realizing is that this translates to most areas of my life.  I talk about a lot of great ideas, I’m excited about them for a time, eventually I lose focus, and then I forget about them altogether.  

This weekend my friend Nicole was visiting and it seems we have the same strength/weakness combo.  Which would explain why we were both so excited about the idea of creating a list of things we’d like to accomplish in the next 1,001 days.  Lots of people have gone before us, and we’re stealing the idea, but my guess is that most of the people who’ve chosen to undertake this activity are fellow follow-through-challenged souls.  So here is my attempt to keep the excited, motivated me around to see a few things through.  I have created a list of 101 things I’d like to achieve, some time consuming, some money consuming, but all requiring a certain amount of follow through.  This blog is to make sure that at least my mom (sure to be my most devoted reader) knows if I give up.   

I’m also hoping to get by with a little help from my friends.  We are now a group of 5, all working on our lists with the same timeline.  We started on February 18th, 2011 and will finish on November 15th, 2013.  So feel free to ask me how it’s coming!  As of right now: One down.